Eldering Principles

MUTUAL LEARNING

We commit to learning as much from each other as we have to give. No matter what our age, we are always vulnerable to whatever is outside our own limited system of beliefs. In Eldering, we share our 'best', accept each other's contributions and give up any attachment we have to what we know. We see the possibility of creating answers to the world's intractable problems by looking at them from the perspectives of both young and old.

RESPONSIBILITY

We accept responsibility for how we choose to relate to what is happening and what might happen in the future. We own our world as it is. Rather than placing blame or taking credit for what has already happened, we define our relationship to our circumstances as our 'response-ability'. We focus on empowering each other to respond in unprecedented and what might seem unreasonable ways.

SUSTAINABILITY

We commit to creating possibilities that promote environmental sustainability, as well as personal and social wellbeing. We consider the impact of our choices on 'the seventh generation'. We value people and natural resources over profits and pride. We stand for the transformation of the economic, social and political paradigms that endanger our future. Whether we're inventing a carbon-neutral product, building an ecologically sound community, designing an active lifestyle or developing healthy relationships, we practice wellness.

AUTHENTIC COMMUNICATION

We practice listening generously and talking straight. Languaging (listening and speaking) is the way we describe the world we live in. We also create the world and the future through conversation (either verbal, written, symbolic or emotional). Eldering occurs in authentic conversations—when we listen non-judgmentally to each person's perspective, experience and ideas and speak our 'truth'.

COMPLETION

We appreciate and let go of the past to be 'present' in our conversations. To co-create a future that is 'outside' our contemporary worldview or paradigm, we must put the past in the past and create an opening for something new and original to appear. By completing our 'unfinished business', we can remember what has happened without the memories dominating our mood or influencing our choices and actions.

RESPECT & COMPASSION

We treat each other—and ourselves—with respect and compassion. It is more important for us to succeed in addressing our common problems than it is to be right, win arguments or have others agree with us. We are patient, trusting that everyone grows and learns at their own pace. We accept that, even when people are suffering, there is a human being present who is whole, complete and competent to transform and transcend their circumstances—no matter how difficult they may be.

HUMILITY

We work with others in collaborative ways, rather than persuading, manipulating or dominating. No matter how far apart we may appear in our beliefs and practices, we know that force never results in win/win outcomes. Instead of reacting to our thoughts and feelings, we acknowledge our limitations and humanity. Humility and 'tough love' allow us to appreciate our differences, transform problems into opportunities, and collaborate with those who are less 'enlightened'.

SERVICE

We experience the privilege of serving those we lead. We do not advocate 'helping' (which is often unappreciated). Instead, we create more space and possibility for others. We stand for an inclusive vision. We care deeply and are connected to other people. We embody humility. We contribute whatever we can to make a difference. And we are valued for our contributions.